Juncture 2.7

The next morning I got out of bed. I had slept maybe two hours, although it was hard to tell. I had to leave the room I was in to tell what time it was. When I got up, my head was throbbing more painfully than it ever had. It was incapacitating at first, I knelt on the floor trying to ignore the pain, the white in my head covering my vision. I thought about vomiting for a bit.

It passed eventually, and woozy, I got to my feet. I regretted it almost immediately, as the pain came back twofold. I slumped against the nearest wall, and with my eyes closed I groped for the door handle. I found it, pushed my weight onto it, and it opened. I stumbled into the hallway. I felt hands grab me from the side, preventing me from falling to the ground. The hands were cold, and they gripped a bit too tightly. I was pulled back onto my feet, and leaned against the person holding me up.

I managed to force one eye open. It was Hans holding me up, his face impassive, annoyed even. I closed my eyes as he started talking. It was gibberish, I couldn’t distinguish his words, though each one sent a shock of pain through my skull.

He pushed me forward gently, and I groaned at the effort. Goddammit, it hurt. I stepped, leaned on Hans, stepped again. One foot after another, for what was subjectively several days, and objectively probably around three minutes. Where we wound up, I don’t know, but I ended up lying down on a hard, cold surface. I heard more words, gibberish again, and the pain started receding. Another minute passed, and it was gone.

I opened my eyes and saw Derry’s face looking down on me, worried, her red hair framing her face as it fell. She leaned back to give me room to sit up, and I did so. I felt fine. I didn’t think I would ever get used to this.

“Better, eh? Fixed you up right good,” Derry said in her usual speedy manner.

“Yeah, thanks,” I responded, “It still amazes me that you can do that.”

She grinned, “It still amazes me too.”

Derry didn’t fit the model of what Major General Siegfried told me on our trip yesterday, or millions of years ago, or whatever I should call it. She seemed so nice, I couldn’t reconcile her personality with the survivalist, kill-or-be-killed attitude Major General Siegfried insisted upon yesterday. Before I had time to filter through the question, it blurted through my lips:

“Why do you work here?”

A look of surprise crossed Derry’s face, and I continued, trying to explain.

“I mean, you seem so nice. Siegfried told me some pretty nerve-wracking things yesterday, and I need a second opinion.”

She looked pointedly at Hans, and then at the door. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb, and walked out.

“I’m right outside the door,” he said as he left.

Derry got up and closed the door behind him.

“I figured you’d want to discuss this one-on-one, without Hans here, yeah?” She asked. I nodded, and she copied the motion vigorously, and continued.

“So Major General Siegfried took you out yesterday, didn’t he? He does that with most of the new recruits. What exactly did he say?”

“Well... we were in the Cretaceous period, and we were attacked by a velociraptor. He killed it. Really quickly, too. Just… point blank shot it in the head,” she cringed as I described it, “And he told me that, if I join, I’d have to be able to do the same thing.”

Derry nodded as I spoke, then mulled over what I had said for a few moments.

“Yeah, you would. It’s a dangerous job. I’ve had to before.” That surprised me. “But think about it Marc. You’d defend yourself in any life or death situation. If you were attacked by a velociraptor, and you didn’t have Siggy there, what would you do?”

“Run,” I answered.

“Nowhere to run, and you have a gun. What do you do?”

I gave the inevitable answer, “I’d shoot it.”

Derry threw her hands in the air, “Exactly! You’re going to save yourself as it is in a life-or-death situation. The only difference between being wherever you’re from and the OST is that it might happen a little more often.”

“Y-you can’t just throw that out like it isn’t a big deal!” I said, louder than I was before, “That’s ‘a little more often’ that you’d have to shoot something, or that you’re gonna die!”

An understanding look arose on her face.

“So you have basic self-preservation,” she stated, “that’s good. But you’ll have to let go of that for the greater good occasionally. Listen, I’m gonna tell you something that I haven’t told very many people, but I think It will help you come to a decision. Just… don’t tell anybody, okay?”

I nodded, and when that didn’t appear to be enough confirmation, said “Okay. I won’t tell anyone.”

She nodded and leaned closer.

…

Around twenty minutes later, I was in front of Major General Siegfried’s office. Han was once again by my side, having snapped back into position as soon as I opened Derry’s door. I knocked, nerves making my fist shake as I held it outward and rapped on the metal door, three quick successive strikes.

After around sixty seconds, the door opened. Major General Siegfried loomed in the mantle, obscuring the view of his office. He looked at me, and I felt naked under his gaze. From the look on his face, he had known I would come here, known I was going to say what I was about to say. Internally, I noted that yes, he could know for certain that I was going to be here. He had that ability.

I shook the thought out of my head.

“I’m in.”